Saturday, 6 October 2007


Between lack of internet connection when Im at work or my partners house, kittens pouncing on keyboards in order to chase the cursor, thats after pouncing unexpectedly on my leg and using it as a rope ladder in order to reach said computer and cursor.....I just adore my new addition :)

I would like to add to my last post I feel its just as important to acknowledge healing and recovery, a difficult and at times a daunting journey, but one worth fighting for and equally worth speaking about to give encouragement and hope to those who need it in order to say goodbye to the past

"I hold the key of power" he taunted, he knew her weakness, her wound.

Looking at the key in his hand, at him with sad eyes, a sadness of heart for one who appeared so weak and powerless before her.

She remembered the key, the rust that fell as she opened the door so many years ago, yet that was past, she knew this beyond a doubt. Held gently within her hand was a key she had found in that room.

She had explored there, examined, reassessed her place in this world and smiling she remembered the healing that took place within that space then, turning in peace, walked away with the key to her future.

A woman leaving that space holding the hand of the small child; merging into one as they walk through the door.

Edna St. Vincent Millay - Bluebeard

This door you might not open, and you did;
So enter now, and see for what slight thing
You are betrayed... Here is no treasure hid,
No cauldron, no clear crystal mirroring
The sought-for truth, no heads of women slain
For greed like yours, no writhings of distress,
But only what you see... Look yet again—
An empty room, cobwebbed and comfortless.
Yet this alone out of my life I kept
Unto myself, lest any know me quite;
And you did so profane me when you crept
Unto the threshold of this room to-night
That I must never more behold your face.
This now is yours. I seek another place.

"You keep it" She smiled,for she knew she had no need for it any longer


After a while you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
And you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child
And you learn to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

After a while you learn that even sunshine burns
if you get too much.

So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure
that you really are strong
and that you really do have worth
And you learn and you learn
with every goodbye you learn...

©1971 Veronica A. Shoffstall


RUTH said...

Great post Auds (I have been reading though not commenting...still trying to catch up!). For various reasons Child Abuse is close to me heart..I shall look out for the book you mentioned in your last post. It can be difficult for any child/adult to turn from being a "Victim" into a "Survivor".
Stay well

Gledwood said...

Some times you only have to try the handle and you will find that the door that has shut you in for so many years was never locked at all...

Gledwood said...

Audrey: Can I ask where in Scotland you are?

Don't worry I am not asking for an address:

What I mean is,
I am updating my links by country.
Then in brackets either the city or the county...

That's what I wanted to know what city or couny you're in - for my links

man! i don't 1/2 go round the houses sometimes...

Audrey said...

This subject touches so many peoples lives doesnt it Ruth and yes it can be truly difficult for some to overcome,for others impossible. Most of the people I work with have been affected in some way.

I found the book useful, it compares some of our internal characters with greek gods etc, interesting and I still use some of the concepts when I hear my internal chatterbox knocking my confidence or if I get too

I know your less available for blogging around these days so dont worry, Im full of admiration for you and look forward to reading about your days at college..hopefully inspire me to do something

Audrey said...

Some times you only have to try the handle and you will find that the door that has shut you in for so many years was never locked at all...

Yes Gleds, how true and this comment really moved me when I read it x

Most of the time I live in a small town called Stonehaven but Aberdeen, wet, windy grey Aberdeen is where I consider home.

Soon to be home of Donald Trumps world class luxury golf complex and Stonehaven soon to be home to Jack Nicolas's luxury world class golf complex..keep all those oil barrons happy no doubt.:)

Gledwood said...

Golf courses... grr...
How come major road developments ALWAYS manage to swerve to avoid these ... and yet to plough right through Ancient Woodland :-<
Thanks for your message v much appreciated...
O I just remembered what I was going to say!
That key!
It's just like the old front door key to our house in Wales - seriously.
It was that big - PLUS any other key that size seemed to open the door without fail~!! (We collected a few from antique shops...)