Monday, 23 July 2007
My life has reached a very definite crossroads I feel, a time of gathering and examination to see whats in this package called Audrey.
Apart from the trip to Africa, for a long time now Ive felt a dissatisfaction with my work, I think this maybe a result of the recovery based courses Ive attended, they have always left me feeling there is so much more we could be offering the people we support and much of the work I find myself doing today is so bogged down with paperwork and red tape that it makes me want to scream.
I see the expressions on the faces of the people I support as I approach them with yet another peice of paper, another policy, another form to sign that has really nothing to do with supporting and enabling them to discover or experiment with ways of using the skills and talents they possess to enhance their quality of life. In fact the particular service I work in at the moment is so bogged down with problems within the team and the dynamics of the team that its come to feel that its all about us and not the people we are paid to support.
Our organisation is charity based and undergoing changes within its structure in order to save money. Changes have already been made to upper management and our area manager is now based down in Glasgow, locality managers and service managers are next in line for the big heave ho!! The organisations aim for 2008 is apparently to make a five million pound profit!!! doh!!!! Whilst I love working with the people who need support this organisation no longer feels right for me, its values and ethics just dont fit and sit easy with me anymore.
A new diploma course I had first heard about during the last recovery conference I attended has been approved and is set to run at a university about an hours drive away from where I live..Im soooooooooooo tempted, but wonder if the diploma will be recognised by health boards and other agencies as recovery as a working model is so new. The other option Im considering is returning nursing and doing a degree in that which could possibily take less time as I had passed a two year nursing course way back in the days when bell bottoms and afro hair do's were all the rage.
But first things first, the trip, a little time to think things through, who knows I may discover some hidden, dormant talent or skill whilst Im out in the bush...Lion tamer, rodeo girl, zulu warrior, whatever as Mama Cass Elliot says I need to make my own kinda music, sing my own special song, whatever that may be???